Someone asked me the other day if my boobs were saggy and I am pleased to report that the answer is no. I explained that they passed the pencil test. That's where you place a pencil under your tit and if it stays.... saggy tits. Admittedly I dont have big ones, but they are actually a size B which is bigger than I would have expected given I was probably AAA at age 18. In fact they seem to keep growing albeit very slowly, and one seems to be growing faster than the other one which gives me an excuse to play with them, not that I need one.
I do recall being called ironing board at high school. Ironically this was by the girls whose tits were super saggy at age 16. These were the girls that the guys would go "Cor! She's alright!" over. Little did they know that her over the shoulder boulder holders were working hard to keep them off her stomach, and from what I accidently copped an eye full of in the school pool change room, were not a pretty sight. Nipples at the bottom of the hang and stretch marks.
In response to the incessant bullying I made a badge that I wore on my uniform that proudly stated "flat not fat". That shut them up but also got me sent to the head office.
I finally escaped the wrath of bogan high school bitches and went on to do better things like play with rams balls. You see when I got to uni we had a lab class with rams. I was reminded of these pendulous boob items in the form of rams balls. Hot rams balls, not cold ones. You see we had to conduct an experiment where a tubular cloth bag was tied around the rams balls at one end and a blow heater on the other. To top it all off was a thermometer firmly shoved up the rams arse. This scientific endeavour involved measuring the likely impact of temperature on a ram's fertility and on their ability to keep their body temperature low in summer heat. We also had a ruler to measure how well hung the rams were. Then we constructed a graph of our results.
The findings were that the better hung the rams were the better they were able to keep their body temperature at optimum conditions, and also the more likley the sperm count would be high.
So there you go guys. Stop measuring the length of your dick and start measuring how well hung you are. It may well be more important.
you have a serious weird issue with your boobs. I envied the girls who could live without a bra, but i got over it, cos i'm a grown up now
ReplyDeleteSo i commented on your thing the other day, then today i felt guilty cause it was bitchy so checked to see if you responded, and there are no comments, then i wondered what you do with the comments then i wondered what i would do the comments, would i recycle them and post them as my own when i was boring and had nothing to say. probably, and i'd feel happy because it was sort of sneaky. but fun. then i read some of your other posts and the one about the ladies in the park was funny because are you the only woman who didn't already know what those other women are doing? the reason they couldn't give a fuck if there dog is having fun is cause they are there looking for men. any way i got a problem with my own method, i look for men in the supermarket, yep. and today i was concerned about my impact on global warming because you see, i waste food. i don't mean to its just that if you have a large packet of biscuits a family size block of chocolate etc in your basket you get paranoid that men will realize your unhealthy so you have to buy enough fresh produce to put in your basket to cancel out the other stuff, in case handsome men in your age bracket even bother looking, after you wore the clothes you just slept in. does 6 apples cancel out a block of chocolate? i try to feed them to my son on the days he's at my house. but sometimes i throw away rotten fruit. i don't know what age is considered middle age. i think i'm too young
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